Likker: Cures All Life’s Ills

It would be easy for today to become a continuation of yesterday’s whine. I’m still tired. I’m still depressed – maybe even more so. All the shit that was piling up, continues to pile up with no end in sight. So as I was whining to my very good friend and occasional muse (who also happens to be the lady who digs her bony little elbows into my back and makes me cry), she recommended very intensive therapy. First, according to Miss Mia, who has never yet steered me wrong (as evidenced by the fact that putting honey on a burn really does make it heal faster), I should dump a box of baking soda into a warm bath, submerge myself, and soak for like twenty minutes.

During this time my job is to think about all the things tormenting me, examine them, and then just let them go. I should, she says, be prepared for a major cry.Of course, I don’t have that kind of time, so I asked her for a Plan B.

Plan B: Get likkered up.  Seriously. I reminded her that I’m not much of a drinker – don’t generally care for the taste, etc. So, my amazing Mia recommended either Chocolate Wine (hmmmm….), or Tequila Rose.  Served over crushed or shaved ice, she says, it’s rather like a high octane strawberry shake.   So, enterprising little researcher that I am, I went looking for more info.

Hmm. Strawberry Creme Liqueur. Yum. And check out the drinks to be made with Tequila Rose:

Creamy Pussy (um, but I like, um, cock)
Pink Russian (Mikhail Baryshnikov?)
Beauty and the Beast (this sounds promising)
Pearl Necklace (you know you’ve been writing “porn” too long when you see “pearl necklace” and think “anal beads”)
Buttery Nipple #4 (this must be a paranormal if there are THREE OTHER buttery nipples)
Alrighty Then! (Which is about what I say to the idea of FOUR buttery nipples!)
Thorny Mexican (Which is slightly better than “horny Mexican”)
Cherry Popper #2 (Again with duplicate body parts – you’ve got TWO??)
Hot Pink Pussy (Okay, OUCH)
China Girl (Two Words: David Bowie)


Bloody Pussy (No, seriously, OUCH)
Slapper (Which might explain the hot pink and blood…)
Dirty Condom (And, ewww)
Check out the following link for more fun with Tequila Rose:  Tequila Rose® strawberry cream liqueur information http://www.drinksmixer.com/desc562.html#ixzz1HaNUOkiP

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